Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hospital Visit - Take Two

Amazing how quickly things can change…

After our visit to the hospital we thought things were going pretty well.


After a morning of feeling just okay, husband started to get the same symptoms on Monday afternoon. It all happened pretty much right after I posted about our first hospital visit.

A couple of phone calls to the doctor and we were back in the emergency room and being admitted once again.

Pissed Husband
Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. You can break your leg and they can mend it. You can have a blockage in your arteries and there is a surgery to fix it. But when you are 33 years old with chest pain and all of your tests “look good” they don’t have much for you. In fact, they pretty much disregard you.

So husband stayed over another night. This time our amusing hospital stories got even better. Of course I will explain that later.

Come to find out his original diagnosis is about the same, but they added a new one called, “Pleurisy.” My wiki-vegan explanation of this is when the lining around your lungs is infected or inflamed you can have serious chest pains and heart palpitations. With heart palpitations comes anxiety, which leads to worse pain. So there you have it.

It is scary as hell. But I am glad he is out of the hospital and home resting.

So I am making lots of lovely comfort food and making sure he takes it easy. The good news about that is I have lots of great new recipes to share this week! For now, you can read my two newest amusing hospital stories, after the jump.

Being at the hospital is scary. I get that. Of course, I manage to find inappropriate things to amuse me.

The first was another member of the 150 year old club.

So Nana Pittsburgh decided that her hospital room could not hold her in. So, naturally, she moved her chair right into the middle of the hall. Why? Because she wanted it there…

On my return from the snack bar (which will be an upcoming post) I saw Nana Pittsburgh in her chair in the middle of the hallway. I thought to myself, she is DEFINITELY going to talk to me. I knew I needed to avert my gaze, but it was coming.

As I approach she looks up, quickly raises one 150 year old finger in the air and says, “Hey Buddy! Got any smokes!?!?”

“Ummm, sorry, but I don’t.”

Visibly disgusted by my response, Nana just looks at me and audibly groans…


The second story is my favorite, potentially because I shouldn’t find it as amusing as I do.

On husbands’ second visit to the hospital, he was graced with a roommate. A younger guy in his early 40’s who came in with all of his heartburn medication. He was also suffering from chest pains. Roommate was accompanied by his girlfriend… sweet.

After the nurses gave him his standard round of questioning, they left and his girlfriend shut the curtain. As husband and I sat there blissfully watching Shawshank Redemption, we heard from the neighboring bed uncontrollable crying. Evidently 40 year old neighbor could not handle this hospital stay and was literally bawling in his bed. Girlfriend decided she should join him and also started crying and then joined him in his hospital bed. Gross.

Naturally, I found this inappropriately hilarious and was doing my best to not laugh. Husband shot me “mom in church glares” from his bed as I looked away.

Best part of the story is that 40 year old roommate was released the next day. He was released from the hospital after suffering heart problems and chest pain. (Important) His girlfriend decided to bring him fast food for breakfast… FAST FOOD…. Can you see the irony in this?

I did not have to bear witness to this, but 40 year old roommate and his girlfriend ate the greasy food loudly all morning and cried a little bit more before leaving the hospital.

So here is my plea to 40 year old tearjerker and anyone else out there who takes medicine for heartburn. Don’t eat fast food. Please. It will change your life.

Sincerely, your loving (and inappropriately acting) Chubby Vegan


  1. That sucks that Graham had to go back, but glad it's (still) nothing too serious. Like your League of Their Own picture too. If you knew how to do my magical hovering technique, you could have it say, "There's no crying in hospitals!"

  2. Hahahaha! I love that "no crying" comment - one of the best movies! John you definitely have a very descriptive writing style, I felt like I was experiencing "the senior moments" right along with you.

  3. You made me laugh! Glad Graham has someone to care for him! He was sure sporting the look that could kill!!

  4. Yikes! I'm glad to hear husband is doing better, and that you have a sense of humor even in yucky situations. And that crying scene was the best in the movie, totally!! :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...